I talked about feeling quite unmotivated today about writing anything original, even though the desire to post was strong. So of course, I took to my pulse and voiced my discontent. I was rewarded with correspondence that challenged me as well as made me laugh. And by laugh I mean my lips curled upward in such a way as to imply that I'd either eaten something pleasant or a mild case of flatulence. So to you 4.38 subscribers who visit me regularly (the .38 refers to lurkers who leave lots of footprints but never comment), I offer you my candid insight on two things...

Why does LA suck so badly? (posed by the ever interesting @trunthepaige)

Ellay (as the locals call it; Los Angeles for tourists) doesn't suck so badly if you were born here. Wait. Let me start off by making a distinction between Ellay the City...

and Ellay the County...

The city has a population of 3.8 million. While the county's population tops out at around 9.9 million. Interestingly enough, more than 1 out of 4 people in the entire state of California live in Los Angeles County. This means that there are plenty of less congested places in the state. But apparently, not too many people want to live in them. This is because they are NOT Los Angeles. No, seriously. When asked why people didn't want to live in places like Modesto or Rough and Ready, California, they replied simply, "Well, tain't zackly Ellay, 'zit?"

For the city and county of Ellay, one consumes the other in a very unnatural fashion. The north tail end of the city hangs like a bit of uneaten food at the base of county proper. Both are spread over a wide area whose boundaries seem to have been drawn arbitrarily at best. But it is what it is and you learn to love it. Sort of...

I mean, L.A. still sucks, just not so badly.

The main reason this is the case is because this is one of the few places in the country (I imagine) where you have a large concentration of people who are as equally motivated in their pursuit of fame as they are selfish in their behavior. This provides the indigenous, non-fame-seeking population, like myself) with many humor-filled (and at times deeply frustrating) days and nights. It also keeps me from watching the news because the idiocy of such people is so rampant that I've grown tired of the "Girl Dies From Eating Tainted Bull Ears at Famous Restaurant" or "Have you seen [insert celebrity name]'s bare butt, vagina or nipple slip??" stories.

The pros and cons of living in the proximity of L.A. (posed by @xDark_horizonx)

Hmm... should I start with the good or the bad? Let's go with the bad and end on a high note.

The Cons

• Cars. L.A. (the County and SoCal in general) has horrible, HORRIBLE traffic. While we (the City) are not the worst as far as overall congestion, we are definitely king of the hill when it comes to being stuck in traffic congestion. I hate it. With a passion even.
• Money. The economic disparity is sickening. There are parts of the County where driving a mere 5 blocks will take you from derelict urban blisters to pristine suburban hideaways. Sadly, many of the inhabitants of the more affluent neighborhoods like it this way.
• Gangs. People can be very stupid. Of this group of stupid people, gang members are among the stupidest of them all. Los Angeles has a large number of "stupidest" among the population. These are people who fight over territories to which they have no legal rights, selling substances that are deadly to consume, and content to embrace a reduced life expectancy as long as they can maintain their reputations of being strong, and of course, stupid and dead.
• Property. Los Angeles has the highest property tax rate in the country. Couple that with the high cost of real estate (relative to other parts of the country), high unemployment and  decreasing property values... and you wonder why anyone chooses to live here. (Hint: it's the weather. )

The Pros

• Weather. We have some of the best year-round weather in the country. There can be blizzards, hurricanes and flooding in other parts of the country, while at the same time Los Angeles is enjoying a balmy 73 degrees with a light wind and clear skies.
• On Demand. Only in Los Angeles (County, that is) can you go from frolicking in the ocean waters of the beach in the morning, to skiing in the white-capped mountains in the afternoon, and finally relaxing in the warm desert by nightfall... all in one day, mind you.
• Fame. There are places where you can't throw a rock a not hit a celebrity. Although for natives, the novelty of celebrity sightings has long since worn off. Usually after the age of 6. Still, dreams actually can come true in this place. There are many people who moved to Los Angeles to advance their careers and it has paid off for them. Unfortunately, the percentage of success stories is most likely still in the single digits, or low doubles at best.
• Entertainment. There is no shortage of things to do in Los Angeles. From museums to amusement parks, or themed-restaurants to award shows, there is always, and I mean ALWAYS, something to do, go or see.

Okay, that was longer than I expected. But I hope it makes for some light reading.

Who decided that you had to pick a political side when voting?

Who decided that there should be shame in being a working mom or a stay-at-home dad?

Who decided that having more than 2 1/2 kids was a crime?

Who decided that interracial relationships will always face a culture clash?

Who decided that building something yourself is more honorable than paying someone to build it for you?

Who decided that being a man means showing little to no emotion, while being a woman means having emotions that are out of control?

Who decided that nearly everything should be abbreviated?

Who decided that there should be such a thing as a "standard of beauty"?

Who decided that playing with Lego™ blocks is something you eventually outgrow?

Who decided that love is a battlefield?

Who decided...?

Regardless of the spin, the basic question remains the same:

Who decided?

Some people think THEY decided. But I disagree. I say...

Decide for yourself.

Sometimes I think I think too much.

Yeah, yeah... I know I'm a bit late, but it's (a little bit past) that time of year again folks! Time for the annual Year In Review for 2012! Like I say every year, there are brilliant posts that even though they may be months old, I still think people should check out.

For the 2011 Year In Review, click HERE
For the 2010 Year In Review, click HERE
For the 2009 Year In Review, click HERE

January 2012 (9)
The year started off well enough. But it hit a sour note quickly when we said goodbye to our beloved purebred German Shepherd Thor.
January was the month I got the bright (albeit short-lived) idea to start a series of talks about Today's Neglected Word: FINICKY
I also managed to post my one and only Random Dove Thought about Naughty Bits.
 

February 2012 (5)
This month I explored (with some excitement, mind you) the inter-related topics of Sex, Cancer and Immortality.

March 2012 (4)
This month's (second and sadly final) neglected word was SANCTION.
I piqued more than a few interests and raised a good number of brows when I asked for everyone's take on Nudity With Friends.

April 2012 (4)
My output was slow and sluggish by the time April rolled around. With only 4 posts the entire month, I squeezed out the debut of Dove Note #53: Between Two Hearts.
And shared one of my fabulous Conversations With A 5-Year Old.

May 2012 (5)
As life got considerably more busy, I was able to post three Dove Notes this month.

1. Dove Note #61: Mastering The Sixth Sense of Sex Perception
2. Dove Note #95: The Look Of Love
3. Dove Note #74: A Host Of A Chance

June 2012 (2)
With life kicking into high gear, a measly two posts trickled down from the blog faucet. Among these was a post about the 3 Lies Challenge that was trending at the time.

August 2012 (16)
Life finally started to settle down after a July that was so crazy hectic I managed no posts whatsoever. So much so, that I cranked out 16 posts in August. Including...
Documenting the celebration my 8th Wedding Anniversary.
Another in my Dove Note series: Murder of the Mood.
A pseudo-rant post about how sexual compatibility should not be a deciding factor for marriage.
And the return of Friday FiTS!

September 2012 (22)
Hitting my stride, I got back to basics and shared a video of my daughter, the Brazilian Dancer.
I went on another successful Xanga Tour! (So much fun!)
I even offered two PSAs this month. One on Lurker Etiquette and the other regarding the Truth About Comments.
Of course, this was a perfect segue into comparing and contrasting Friends and Subscribers.
And I shared the heartbreaking story about a child whose mother left him for hours in the park across the street from our house.
This was also the month that I achieved my weight loss goal of getting under 200lbs!
And the very next day celebrated my 40th birthday!

October 2012 (29)
October was quite the busy blogging month. Cranking out 29 posts overall, I offered up several Random Dove Thoughts, including

• Dead Words
• Fantasies
• Beauty vs Sex Appeal
• Virtual Loss

I confessed to being a People Watcher.
And I mentioned my Lurker Tendencies.
I also vlogged for the first time in forever!
And no high-output month would be complete without joining another trend and offering my somewhat rebellious take on the Adult Survey that was going around.

November 2012 (16)
Rather late in the year, I decided to introduce new 2012 Xanga Cards and managed to make more than 30 before my MacBook Pro died from Java Exposure.
Still, I sulkily confessed (via posting from work) that I am NOT a phone person.
This prompted me to ask people what brought them to my blog.
And once again, there was a survey I couldn't resist filling out.

December 2012 (15)
After announcing the pending return of TBOs in November, the first TBO feature was none other than @Foodhog.
The next TBO was @xXrEMmUsXx.
I posted another PSA about Clarity.
And I encouraged everyone to become the EPIC YOU.
Of course, by now I'd realized that some things were Out Of Balance and I announced my hiatus from posting.

Ever since I was a teenager I wanted to be a HERO.  Not the kind of super hero who foiled the plans of criminal masterminds with my single bound tall building leaps, locomotive power and bullet speed. Not necessarily the kind of hero who safely retrieved POW's from deep in enemy territory.  

No.

I wanted to be a kind of machismo-infused hero, rescuing contemporary "damsels in distress" who, in my limited experience at the age of 16, were so often the victims of relationships gone horribly wrong. The tales I'd hear of betrayal, degradation and distress from some of my female friends angered me, but also filled me with compassion and an overwhelming desire to comfort them in some way.

So it was that I wanted to be that stand-up guy who came along and mended their broken hearts by being to them what other men could or would not. Fulfilling their unrealized expectations. I wanted to fix the traumatized emotions of all the disappointed and disillusioned women I knew.

Ha! As if that were even possible.

As you can probably surmise, this was not at ALL practical or realistic. Still, it took me a long time to realize that, though I had the best of intentions, I simply couldn't save everyone.

Correction...

I couldn't save anyone.

Except one.

To that one, I endeavored to define a man who successfully balanced his testosterone-influenced emotions with chivalry, romance and an understanding of authority. I made a silent promise to show her what it meant to be a modern-day hero upon whom she could always rely, trust and rest her confidence. I made a similar promise to my only daughter so that winning her heart would require the power and determination that only a hero possessed.

And yet, even now I will occasionally feel the "pull of the cape" begging to be worn when I talk to my female friends who are miserable and misunderstood. I refrain because I understood a long time ago that trying to be that for more than one woman would actually mean being that for no one. What I mean is that every woman deserves the undivided attention of the man who holds their heart. My divided attention would be both hypocritical and ineffective.

So for those, I simply listen with a sympathetic ear and an encouraging smile. And hope that one day THEIR hero will appear.

To she who holds my heart captive,

Myxl Dove

I originally wrote this back in 2009, but I thought I'd share it again because I've made some awesome new friends and the sentiments remain.

Continue reading →

Remember that seemingly long-forgotten second vlog I was planning to do? Well, I'm finally getting back to it!

So if you didn't participate in the first one or want to ask additional questions than the ones in the original request, just leave me a comment with your questions. I'll record and upload the video this coming weekend. This means you have several days to figure out what you want to ask me! Again, feel free to ask me any and everything. Yes, I mean everything. Ask as many or a few questions as you'd like. And if you want, this time let me know if you want me to elaborate in my answer. I cut out a lot of my rambling from the previous video.

I always find it interesting how we create these images of certain people. You know, we have a particular idea about how they behave, talk or react to the world. This inevitably puts them in a particular box that we are none to quick to release them from. So much so, that when they do or say something that goes against our image of them, we think it's out of character or that something must be wrong.

Personally, I think people are multifaceted beings that have a propensity to exhibit behavior that could seem contradictory in nature. What it really means is that there is more to us than we share with one individual. For instance, some people know me for my writing. While others know me for my music. And there are some people who have no idea that I write OR sing. For them, finding out that I do either (or both) would completely ruin their image of me. Which is kind of sad since those things have always been a part of me, even if I haven't shared them.

So yeah... there are things that I share with some people and not with others, depending on the context of our discussion and the depth of our friendship. And so it goes that in getting to know people, we discover other parts of who they are. To me, that's the most exciting part about developing relationships... there's always the potential for suprise.

As I sorted through photos and videos today, I came across a video my wife and I created that was shown at the dedication ceremony for our youngest son, Avery. It's more than a year old, but I think the sentiments are timeless. So I thought I'd share.

This is for @CaKaLusa.

Hey, I tried. lol

(Timestamped because this is about all I've got for a tired Friday. *yawn*)