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Original: 2/1/2013 3:11 PM
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Friday, February 01, 2013

What 7 (almost 8) Means

 


My oldest nephew got married the other day. He is a wonderful young man and my wife and I are very close to him.

But we didn't go to the wedding.

Why?

Because when you have a family as large as mine, there are things you come to expect... like not being invited to certain events. whatevah

My father came to us beforehand and said something like, "It's going to be a really small ceremony and they don't have a lot of money. So don't be offended by not being invited."

We weren't offended.

Because this was a small ceremony, the reception was at my parent's house. So it wasn't an RSVP kind of thing where you let them know how many you're bringing with you. There is almost an expectation that the entire family would come. It almost becomes a small family reunion whenever something goes on at my parent's house. What we've come to understand is that when people invite our family, they're inviting SEVEN additional people, not just two. And seven mouths can add a considerable expense to a food budget! shocked

So we try our best to let people know that we are neither upset nor insulted when we don't get invited to a social gathering. It's a serious commitment having our family posse show up. lol It's not that we never get invited to events as a couple. But that comes with its own set of logistics... scheduling, food, babysitters, etc.

One of the great things about having a big family is that everything we do together as a family is an event in itself. Heck, getting out of the house at all is a full-on production! lol We take advantage of every opportunity to create lasting memories as a family that at times feels like a party all on its own. Plus, there are times when we'll invite others to participate in one of our family events. What's cool about this approach is that they don't feel obligated to manage our needs like they might if they were hosting.  Since we're hosting, we're responsible for our crew. These are always fun, rewarding and we still get to hang out with the people we love.

Yeah, I'd never change having a big family. I'm perfectly fine with the occasional social snub. Just send me a postcard when it's over.

 Posted 2/1/2013 3:11 PM - 325 Views - 34 eProps - 20 comments

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Visit olwd's Xanga Site!

Awwww, well I can understand, sort of.  We always lived so far away from family and relatives that we never got invited or if we did it was always, "regrettably not able".

Posted 2/1/2013 8:47 AM by olwd Xanga True Member - recommend - reply

Visit Megabyyte's Xanga Site!

Makes sense! I think having a big family would be kind of fun! 

Posted 2/1/2013 9:03 AM by Megabyyte Xanga True Member Xanga Premium Member - recommend - reply

Visit babybug329's Xanga Site!

A family of 7 (almost 8) can be a considerable increase on the expenses, so I can understand considering the small event your nephew had.  Getting into it with your family over what is a happy occasion won't win anyone points.  Best thing to do is to wish your nephew and his new wife well.  Inviting them over at a later date for a dinner or small get together is a great solution.

Posted 2/1/2013 9:58 AM by babybug329 - recommend - reply

Visit Thatslifekid's Xanga Site!

My aunt and Uncle have a big family (7 in all) and I'm sort of the token tag-a-long. The adopted 6th kid if you will. 

Posted 2/1/2013 10:01 AM by Thatslifekid Xanga True Member - recommend - reply

Visit AncoraImparo's Xanga Site!

Going to be honest here, when I didn't receive an invite to my friend's wedding I was so unbelievably hurt. He and I lived in Rome together and backpacked parts of Europe. Yes we had definitely grown apart as most friends do. He moved away after college. But dammit it hurt. It still hurts. I sent him and his hubby (who he met in Rome, actually) a congratulatory card but we haven't spoken much since. I don't know what my issue is, perhaps I am just a selfish bitch expecting too much.
Glad y'all weren't offended!!

Posted 2/1/2013 11:01 AM by AncoraImparo - recommend - reply

Visit aSeriesofFortunateEvents's Xanga Site!

I can relate to this 100%.  There are a good number of events we either aren't invited to, or don't attend because of the logistics. Not only like you said are there 7 (or 8) more mouths to feed, there's also getting a sitter for 5 or 6. That's a lot more difficult and sometimes costly than a sitter for one or two kids.

Posted 2/1/2013 11:58 AM by aSeriesofFortunateEvents Xanga True Member Xanga Premium Member - recommend - reply

Visit MyxlDove's Xanga Site!

@olwd - People probably wouldn't feel as bad if we lived far away. But my parents are barely 10 minutes away.

@Megabyyte - A big family is absolutely WONDERFUL! :D

@babybug329 - Yeah, we were planning to invite them over. But they're moving to Arizona. Now it'll have to be a road trip to go see them. At least we have other family out there, so it would certainly be worth the trip to see everyone.

@Thatslifekid - Well, you're always welcome to tag along with my family whenever you're out here. The more the merrier.

@AncoraImparo - Yeah, I could certainly understand being hurt by that. And it's not like you had 15 other people coming with you. What was the reason they gave for not inviting you? Or were you never given one?

@aSeriesofFortunateEvents - I figured you might know where I was coming from. Sometimes the kids will get split into groups. The older teenager will attend an event with us and the younger kids will stay home with a sitter. It's not ideal, but it's manageable when someone REALLY wants us to come.

Posted 2/1/2013 3:12 PM by MyxlDove Xanga True Member Xanga Lifetime Member - recommend - reply

Visit BohemianLotus's Xanga Site!

That's really understanding of you. I never really thought about how large families don't get invited to stuff as much because of that. On the other hand, I think it'd be a blast to be part of a big family where even the most mundane things are big productions!

Posted 2/1/2013 3:39 PM by BohemianLotus Xanga True Member Xanga Lifetime Member - recommend - reply

Visit SasGal's Xanga Site!

You're back!  Maybe you've been back for awhile and I didn't know since I'm not around.  I'm glad to see you around.  If I lived closer, I'd definitely be inviting you and your posse to my stuffs, if uh... I had stuffs, I guess.  


We have the same sort of issue with our family.  There are 8 on my mom's side, plus everyone's kids and their kids and... we can't do events in a "small" fashion which means we do events less.  
Posted 2/1/2013 3:39 PM by SasGal Xanga True Member Xanga Lifetime Member - recommend - reply

Visit MyxlDove's Xanga Site!

@BohemianLotus - Having a big family (particularly one that you enjoy) really does make even the smallest things wonderful. My wife and kids are some of the happiest people I know.

@SasGal - Didja miss me?

Posted 2/1/2013 3:44 PM by MyxlDove Xanga True Member Xanga Lifetime Member - recommend - reply

Visit SasGal's Xanga Site!

@MyxlDove - ABSOLUTELY!

Posted 2/1/2013 3:47 PM by SasGal Xanga True Member Xanga Lifetime Member - recommend - reply

Visit Tempguestbrief's Xanga Site!

lol...five children?...well, you're getting there! lol

Posted 2/1/2013 4:23 PM by Tempguestbrief Xanga Lifetime Member - recommend - reply

Visit crankycaregiver's Xanga Site!

I wasn't invited to my niece's wedding, even though I am her godmother.  My brother, who is well off, felt that I wouldn't be able to afford going.  I'm still hurt by this, but actually think he didn't want to embarrass me by sending me an invite I couldn't afford.

Posted 2/1/2013 4:38 PM by crankycaregiver Xanga Premium Member - recommend - reply

Visit Fairywife's Xanga Site!
I want a big family! I'm thinking at least 5 kids. :D
Posted 2/1/2013 5:27 PM by Fairywife Xanga True Member - recommend - reply

Visit Lady_Kelacy's Xanga Site!

Big families are an amazing ball of chaos to have. You are such a wonderful dad, friend, and family member (I'm sure) to have.

Posted 2/1/2013 6:16 PM by Lady_Kelacy Xanga True Member - recommend - reply

Visit TheTheologiansCafe's Xanga Site!

I think I can read between the lines here.


Lets burn down their house.
Posted 2/1/2013 7:27 PM by TheTheologiansCafe Xanga True Member Xanga Lifetime Member - recommend - reply

Visit firetyger's Xanga Site!

We have the same thing happen a lot, especially with weddings for our cousins. Big families are fun but you're right, darn expensive too!

Posted 2/1/2013 8:13 PM by firetyger Xanga True Member Xanga Premium Member - recommend - reply

Visit rockinvball33's Xanga Site!
If you and your spouse are close to your nephew, then I think you absolutely should have been invited. Even if they limited the invite to just you two. Shocked they couldn't invite their own aunt and uncle and they are having it in your fathers home. Yes you have your own wolf pack, and I understand that someone else committing to feed seven mouths can be overwhelming, but when it comes to family, there should be no exception! I think your nephew should have saved a few extra bucks to include his uncle aunt and cousins.
Posted 2/2/2013 6:05 AM by rockinvball33 - recommend - reply

Visit olwd's Xanga Site!

@MyxlDove - Oh gosh, that is kind of odd.  My parents live over there in your state, but we're over here . . . in the future.  hehehe  A lil more than ten minute rocket ride from us.  BWAHAHAHA

Posted 2/2/2013 7:59 AM by olwd Xanga True Member - recommend - reply

Visit Foodhog's Xanga Site!

This was a cute post.

Posted 2/14/2013 4:12 PM by Foodhog Xanga True Member - recommend - reply


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