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Original: 10/9/2012 4:54 PM
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Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Shake Myself aka The Do Over

 

This may sound familiar to some of my subscribers from way back. But I want to again speak on a few things today just to clear the air and to establish a clean slate for the rest of my blogging week.

I've been on Xanga for more than 10 years, and during that time I've never written about trolls and I've tried my best to stay out of the drama. (Don't worry, I'm not going to start now.) Because to me, it's simply not worth it. I didn't join Xanga to fight with people about beliefs. I don't judge my worth by how many friends/subs I have or how many comments I get on a post. It's silly. You don't win a prize and no one outside of Xanga (and many inside) don't care. What do you actually gain from these "accomplishments"? Seriously. Nothing. You get no money. No awards. No tax deductions. No bus tokens. No child left behind. Oh... wait. Sorry. Tangent. Got carried away.

Unless I see you at a Xanga Meetup, we will never hang out and spend time together. That's not to say that there aren't some of you that I would invite over to my house. But what's the likelihood of that happening if you live on the other side of the country (or the world)? Slim to none. Although, if I win the lottery, I've already discussed with the wife about an offline Xanga Tour. Visiting some of my favorite Xangans is a dream of mine. But I digress...

I just want to say that your blogging life is a reflection of your interests and those with whom you associate. If you don't like someone's blog/post. Just ignore it. Xanga has no law that says you have to refute the claims of every crazy attention whore. There's no such thing as an argument with 1 person (unless you're arguing with yourself, then you've got bigger issues). The bottom line for me is that if you write posts that are entertaining, then I will read, appreciate and occasionally comment. It makes no difference if you are 15 or 50, or whether your profile picture is authentic. I could care less. Just keep writing. Every post you write won't be worthy of a REC or front page. But that's okay. No one could ever live up to that expectation. You don't have to be perfect to be respected as a writer or even liked as a person. You just need to be you.

And finally, Xanga is NOT my job. So I won't be spending time trying to referee fights, mourning your departure, defending your right to criticize others or mediate your petty disagreements. If that's what turns you on, then by all means, whip yourself into a drama induced blogasm. Just don't forget what you, and many others like you, really came here for. Because eventually Xanga will start to look different to you when the only thing that's really changed is your perception. And that's when people start to leave. Most people mature over time, while others fall deeper into dysfunction. Sometimes it's healthy to step back and figure out which one we are and if we want to remain that way.

 Posted 10/9/2012 4:54 PM - 553 Views - 34 eProps - 20 comments

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Visit slmret's Xanga Site!

Well said!

Posted 10/9/2012 10:48 AM by slmret Xanga True Member Xanga Lifetime Member - recommend - reply

Visit aSeriesofFortunateEvents's Xanga Site!

I agree. I kind of view my xanga as just my blog. You know, I write stuff that was funny that happened or about something I just want to get off my chest. Or I update and think what was the point of that? (like the whole first years of posts? ha)

Anyway after 7 years on here, my view about it is the same. Sometimes other people read and enjoy my posts. Sometimes I'll do a deep one for me and very few people will see it or comment. It's not really about the comments or the recs or the likes. It's about me. I needed to write it. So it's written and it's on there and I go forward.  It has enabled me to meet some cool people and gain new friends, which is great.

My High School band director used to say (uh oh, we're pulling out band director wisdom here!) never read your own press. Do what you do because you love it and do the very best you can. Compete only with yourself. No one else is a true measure of your ability.  When you live to keep the pace with  someone else you can never know your own full potential.

Posted 10/9/2012 10:51 AM by aSeriesofFortunateEvents Xanga True Member Xanga Premium Member - recommend - reply

Visit Thatslifekid's Xanga Site!

Buttar, Modulon

Posted 10/9/2012 10:55 AM by Thatslifekid Xanga True Member - recommend - reply

Visit babybug329's Xanga Site!

Well said!  I totally agree with you on all the points you made.  I don't see why it is just so difficult to just move along if they do not agree with something they read on someone's post.  We don't write posts to please others, we write them because we wanted to say something!  It is not directed to anyone in particular.  If something written was directed to a certain person, it should be called a letter, not a blog post.  I'm going to leave the drama for high school students and soap operas.  Hope you have a fab day!

Posted 10/9/2012 11:19 AM by babybug329 - recommend - reply

Visit ShimmerBodyCream's Xanga Site!

so are only the mature ones going to be left or the dysfunctional? NEVER MIND I THINK WE ALL KNOW

Posted 10/9/2012 11:33 AM by ShimmerBodyCream Xanga True Member - recommend - reply

Visit MyxlDove's Xanga Site!

@slmret - Thanks!

@aSeriesofFortunateEvents - I agree. I've met some amazing people. A few who've become dear friends over the years. I think your band director was right on point. I don't write to keep pace. The only standard I have is the one I've set for myself.

@Thatslifekid - Carpetractor Organoise

@babybug329 - The only thing I can come up with is that perhaps certain types of people are hard wired for conflict? I don't understand it, personally. It doesn't benefit my life to engage in such destructive behavior. So... I'm pursuing fabulousness today!

@ShimmerBodyCream - Yes, unfortunately we do. lol

Posted 10/9/2012 12:06 PM by MyxlDove Xanga True Member Xanga Lifetime Member - recommend - reply

Visit MrTrololo's Xanga Site!

"Most people mature over time, while others fall deeper into dysfunction. Sometimes it's healthy to step back and figure out which one we are and if we want to remain that way." <------ THIS. Well done, sir. :D

Posted 10/9/2012 12:44 PM by MrTrololo - recommend - reply

Visit randaness's Xanga Site!

My profile picture is authentic. It's important to me that you acknowledge that.

Posted 10/9/2012 12:55 PM by randaness Xanga True Member Xanga Premium Member - recommend - reply

Visit Electrons_in_Hiatus_2009's Xanga Site!

Well put, indeed! =) Unfortunately for me, xanga drama followed me early on, due to my wanting to help people that were hurting. Kudos to you, for keeping your distance. It is interesting, the many different types of xangans that use this site. I, myself joined as an early in the morning decision! haha!  

Posted 10/9/2012 12:58 PM by Electrons_in_Hiatus_2009 - recommend - reply

Visit BohemianLotus's Xanga Site!

Excellent post. I agree on all points. I think you and I are mental and social blogging twins when it comes to interacting with others and how we see this whole thing. Really the only thing we differ on is what we write about and our intentions in writing. And you're a better writer than me. :)

Posted 10/9/2012 2:52 PM by BohemianLotus Xanga True Member Xanga Lifetime Member - recommend - reply

Visit Kris0logy's Xanga Site!
Bullseye!

"Xanga has no law that says you have to refute the claims of every crazy
attention whore. There's no such thing as an argument with 1 person (unless you're arguing with yourself, then you've got bigger issues)."  LOVE THIS!!!!! 

Posted 10/9/2012 5:16 PM by Kris0logy - recommend - reply

Visit SHEERROSE's Xanga Site!

I really don't get involved in drama :o cause I'm cool like that 8)

Posted 10/9/2012 5:28 PM by SHEERROSE Xanga Lifetime Member - recommend - reply

Visit EmilyandAtticus's Xanga Site!

It's true. Where do people find the energy, or even the time?

Posted 10/9/2012 5:46 PM by EmilyandAtticus - recommend - reply

Visit baldmike2004's Xanga Site!

Dear Riis,
I hereby nominate you for Mr. Xanga. I can't think of any early Xangans who are still actively blogging, and doing it as well as you do. (I still correspond with Notforprophet occasionally, and am constantly finding Xangans in old comments (Yes, I'm my own best reader!) who, when I remember them and click them, find sporadic entries, but no real dedication.
We always knew when Myxldove was in the house. "Good Morning Xanga". I clearly remember Dove Notes, and the Beautiful Ones series. I remember Xanga cards. Neat that you're posting one as your profile.
So many Xangans just stay on the "top blogs page" and their prime destination is TheTheologiansCafe. Not to diss my man Dan, he fulfills a niche, but he doesn't blog like you or I do. I, for one, am glad you haven't dropped completely out of site.
(notice the play on words. site instead of sight.)
Okay, now to actually read the post.
Sometimes I think that some Xangans DO create bilaterally opposed sites and quarrel with themselves.
Although I love getting on Top Blogs, and know exactly how to do it. (And if I didn't, I'd just consult your handy tutorial about the subject!) I still would rather have a core group of readers who supply meaningful connections and correspondence concerning my (seemingly) endless creative output.
I don't involve myself in drama, and my blog has remained drama free for the most part. Those who have attempted to bring me in to their drama usually find their attempts are futile. The only drama in which I was ever involved was back in school, and the audience usually applauded when I was finished. LOL.
"Every post you write won't be worthy of a REC or front page." I'm always amazed to find entries full of copy/pasted bloggerel which get lots of recs. It's okay to "share" but rec worthy? Not usually.
However I'll never diss anyone who deems it proper to rec everything they read. (One of my entries might be among their reading list.)
Keep blogging, Riis, er, I mean, Mr. Xanga.
One of the first things I do when visiting a blog is check the archives. Yours are HERE, and they tell me what I need to know right up front. Blogging regularly and on the same blog since 2001.
I'm right down the 110. Exit on Sepulveda. Hang a right, left on Vermont.
A most excellent blog entry.
And I couldn't think of where to put this, so I'll just say it in my next sentence.
Good Grief.
Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool
(The Times reported that Charlie Brown is gonna be in another movie, written by Charles Shultz's son and grandson!)

Posted 10/9/2012 6:29 PM by baldmike2004 Xanga True Member Xanga Lifetime Member - recommend - reply

Visit MyxlDove's Xanga Site!

@MrTrololo - Thank YOU sir!

@randaness - I acknowledge that you are one adorable cat. And it has nothing to do with the fact you're black.

@Electrons_in_Hiatus_2009 - Well, whatever the reason, it's nice to have you here!

@BohemianLotus - We are fast friends indeed. I love our similarities as much as I do the things that make us different.

@Kris0logy - I vow to only argue with you, as siblings are supposed to.

@SHEERROSE - Yes, you are WAY cool like that!

@EmilyandAtticus - I have NO idea. They must be rich to be able to dedicate so much time and effort to drama. lol

@baldmike2004 - Wow Mike! That's one of the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me! You already know that you have my respect as well as my admiration. I will have to make that trip down the 110 soon. We can take a photo and I'll put it in my "Best Moments" album!

Posted 10/9/2012 7:13 PM by MyxlDove Xanga True Member Xanga Lifetime Member - recommend - reply

Visit randaness's Xanga Site!

@MyxlDove - LOL

Posted 10/9/2012 7:57 PM by randaness Xanga True Member Xanga Premium Member - recommend - reply

Visit karos's Xanga Site!
Beautifully encapsulated and stated. I experienced my share of Xanga drama and plain mean girls early on. While Xanga has brought me intense negativity at times, it also brought me real friends - and even a lover. Xanga changed my life (insert cheesy infomercial and bonus Snuggie knock-off here), for better or worse.
Posted 10/9/2012 11:16 PM by karos Xanga True Member Xanga Premium Member - recommend - reply

Visit aredotwice's Xanga Site!

ha, i've written posts like these before too. i think every long term blogger does at some point.

Posted 10/10/2012 3:19 AM by aredotwice Xanga True Member - recommend - reply

Visit Passionflwr86's Xanga Site!

"You don't have to be perfect to be respected as a writer or even liked as a person.You just need to be you." ~ You nailed it! Thank you.

Posted 10/10/2012 5:37 AM by Passionflwr86 Xanga True Member Xanga Lifetime Member - recommend - reply

Visit cmdr_keen's Xanga Site!

Well said; excellently put.


Myxl Dove for Xanga Mayor! or President! XP
Posted 10/10/2012 1:54 PM by cmdr_keen - recommend - reply


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