Last night after putting the little ones to bed, my wife and I settled into a relaxed time of snuggling and talking in the bed. We try to do this often because we realize the importance of making time for us to connect on a regular basis. This can be a challenge when your days are full with work, little kids and various other responsibilities. But the rewards are beyond measure.

So imagine my surprise when my always thoughtful wife says, "I've been meaning to tell you something. It crossed my mind the other day and I wanted to make sure I told you."

"Okay," I said, thinking it was more light pillow talk concerning a holiday gift or planning details for Arielle's first birthday.

As her eyes began to well up with tears, she said, "I just want you to know that if anything every happens to me, you are free to remarry. After taking whatever time you need, I want you to be happy."

This caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting that... At. All. But I could sense the depth of her love for me. The look in her eyes was very sobering. All I could say at first was, "Okay" which felt so completely inadequate.

"I'm not saying that anything is going to happen to me. But I don't want you to be alone. I don't want you to feel lonely", she said.

"I wouldn't be alone. I'd have our children with me", I reassured her.

"Yes, but you told me many years ago that you were meant to be married. And you are. I would never want you to feel bound to loneliness because of my passing", she said, her hand resting on my cheek. "Just know that I would be happy to know that you found love again."

I smiled and wiped away a trailing tear, telling her, "I understand. But in this moment... my happiness rests with you."

I never really thought of this, to be honest. Perhaps I just assumed that she would know that if something happened to me, I'd want her to find love again. But she said that it's not a given and she wanted it to be very clear for me. Yeah, that's the kind of woman I married. Remarkable.

It was an interesting few days. As some of you know, my wife took a road trip with her mother and our two youngest to Phoenix to visit her sister. They'd been gone since last Wednesday. Thankfully, they made it home safely yesterday just before midnight. They had a wonderful time and I'm glad she was able to go. However, there was a moment on Wednesday before she left when we thought it just might not happen. Here's why...

As the devoted and protective hubby/dad that I am , it was my job extreme pleasure to check the SUV before she hit the road. I wanted to make sure the gas tank was full, the tires had air and that it was washed. So off I went to a gas station. You know, the kind that has one of those drive-thru car washes for a few extra bucks when you buy gas. I got to the gas station and bought gas. Check. I then pulled over to the air/water machine and checked the tire pressure on all four tires. Check. Finally, I made my way around to the entrance of the drive-thru car wash and punched in the code. Excellent. The green light came on and I pulled forward. This is when the fun really started...

See, I had my two little ones, Aaron and Arielle, in the car with me so my wife could get some things done without having them constantly pulling for her attention. Little did I know that 1) the car wash was going to freak Arielle out so bad that I had to turn around in my seat and hold her until the brushes and spraying stopped, and 2) our SUV was going to stall out while IN the car wash.


Yep, the big two ton Land Cruiser was inside the car wash and would not start. It was making that fast click-click-click sound and a knot formed in my stomach. Backtrack a bit... this isn't the first time the car has stalled. My wife told me that it happened a couple months ago and someone came and gave her a jump. We thought there was an issue with the battery, but it never happened again, so we didn't think anything of it. Until now, of course...

To make matters worse, there was a woman waiting behind me to get her car washed. So I got out of the car and walked back to explain to her what was happening. She was very nice and asked if I had jumper cables (I didn't). But the station manager did and brought them out! The woman in the car then pulled around to the exit side of the car wash to let me get a jump from her car. But... it didn't work.

So picture it... I'm inside a car wash... the entire place is covered in water and suds... I've got two crying kids in the back... and jumper cables stretched between two cars. Oh yeah, it was lovely... :-|

So when the jump didn't work, me, the station manager and one of the other workers managed to push this ginormous vehicle out of the car wash and around to the front of the gas station mini-mart. The station manager insisted that the starter was busted... the other guy said it was the alternator... all I kept thinking is "there's NO WAY my wife is leaving town tonight". And I could see the dollar signs piling up for how much this was all going to cost. Ugh...
 
My wife suggested I call the dealership to find out the cost and availability of repairing the SUV. The guy I spoke with said that if it's the starter, it would be like $700 to replace it and they might be able to get it done that day if we brought it in by 3:30pm. I called and told my wife who then said, "Let me call." I told her to go for it. She called me back a few minutes later and told me that the guy she spoke to was absolutely positive it's just the battery and said we should try to jump it again, but give it some time to recharge the battery. Man, sometimes it just takes a woman's touch. lol

So my awesome wife jumped in our other car and drove to the gas station where I was stranded with the kids to give me a jump. After a few minutes of letting it charge, I gave it another crank and presto! We were back in business. Thankfully, by now the kids had calmed down and we were able to drive the car back home. I was definitely relieved to find out it was just the battery. Of course, I immediately went and bought a new battery, installed it and got everything else squared away. And in spite of the slight detour, they were still able to hit the road on time.


Yeah, I think I came out ahead.

Who Is into_the_lens?

1) Current occupation: I'm currently a Toys'R'Us cashier.

2) Hometown: My hometown is Millstone, NJ. However I am currently residing in Rochester, NY.

3) Hobbies:  Well, obviously I spend more time on Xanga than could possibly be healthy. You can usually find me with my nose shoved in a book, any book that I can find, really. When I get my butt outside (Outside? What's that?) I'd rather be in a pool, on a bike, or spinning a flag/sabre/rifle.


Why We Like Her

I've been subbed to Lens for months now. She's an engaging writer and has the rare ability to hold my attention regardless of how long her post may be. Over these past months we've had our occasional comment chats and over that time I've grown to appreciate the quality and content of her blog and the fact that she could be silly and irrefutably cool at the same time. And although there are numerous reasons to enjoy her blog, I really fell in love with it recently when she posted "The reason why I often smile". It struck a chord. I could relate to just about every point she made. Plus, she included an absolutely adorable picture of herself smiling. How can you argue with that? Sometimes I wonder if she fully realizes just how all-around beautiful she is. Thankfully, there are friends here who I'm sure would be glad to tell her. So go drop by for a visit and tell her YOUR reasons why she's beautiful.

We went to Cottone & Sons Pumpkin Patch in Torrance this year. I took photos because... that's what dads do when they have incredibly adorable children.

I often tell my wife that there's something uniquely wonderful about her skin. I love the way she looks and the way her skin feels. Skin to skin contact FTW. EVERY TIME. But I digress... 

Yes, I do realize that men are visually stimulated. The sight of a scantily clad woman can cause even the most clandestine voyeur to do a double-take. It's the reason why the Naughty series of Halloween costumes become increasingly popular every year. Guys are hoping the girl they secretly obsess over will arrive showing as much skin as possible without being completely naked. So yeah, I get it. We like SKIN.

However...

I've found that it's not the same with many women. Not that there aren't women who are turned on by a bare-chested guy with a chiseled body. But for many women, that's secondary. It's about how he makes her feel - loved, safe, important, appreciated, etc. - that makes him more attractive to her. Though he may not be the most physically attractive man, a woman can be swept off her feet by an unlikely suitor if he taps into what makes her feel beautiful, wanted and loved.

Which brings me to my point...

What's up with guys that post online profile pictures of themselves half-naked?? I mean, do they honestly believe some woman is going to see that photo and instantly fall in love? Are they hoping throngs of women will throw themselves at them? Here's a tip guys... you sitting on your couch with no shirt, holding a beer is NOT sexy.  No one wants to see a picture of you sitting on a motorcycle in a Speedo, or even worse, washed out photos of you choking your chicken. I'm just sayin'...

Correct me if I'm wrong ladies.